Season One, Episode Two: "Pilot"

Oddly enough, this SECOND episode is titled "Pilot" and the first episode had a real name, "Reconcilable Differences".

We start off with Dwayne being a stalker. Er, pursuing Denise who has no interest. Stevie tells him to get lost.

Stevie has a new lesbian hair cut. Denise isn't there to complain about Jaleesa. She's late with her dorm fees, despite everyone else paying on time. I find it weird Stevie goes to the Bursar office. When I was in college, we had to go there ourselves. Stevie basically tells her she's a rude bitch in her nice way. Speaking of rude, Denise almost forgets to pay Jaleesa's fee that she promised to pay because Jaleesa lent her money. Who would loan Denise any thing?! Bitch is unreliable.

Whitley comes in and they discuss Maggie, the new army brat roommate  Whitley only makes this appearance and she's looking dated. Stevie said Jaleesa and Denise are getting a new roommate. Apparently, there was a sale on lesbian hair cuts as Jaleesa is supporting one, too.

Whitley looks like Prince and Jaleesa looks like Bobby Brown.

Cut to their dorm room. Denise wants to decorate the room with stuff that looks like a prop that was rejected from The Lost Boys. She is annoyed Jaleesa isn't annoyed they're getting a new room mate. We find out Jaleesa has eight siblings.

Cue Maggie a day early. Maggie is white and a motor mouth. Basically, she's a white(r) version of Denise.

I had forgotten how haggard Marissa Tomei looks. She looks younger almost 30 years later.

Poor Jaleesa. Maggie and Denise are already plotting against her. Both want to go to the flea market for more ugly shit. However, they're both idiots and Jaleesa has to help them function. Literally, she has to help them decide who gets what bunk.

Surprise surprise. Denise's dorm fees bounced. She's indignant the bank yelled at her. She's $180 over drawn, because she's too stupid to keep a bank book. While Maggie's being nice to her, she remembered she covered Jaleesa's fees, too. I hope Jaleesa kicks her flighty ass. Despite her earlier niceness, Maggie doesn't seem to care the other two will get the boot.

Denise thinks the bank will loan her money, because she's a moron. Maggie suggests asking her parents for money. That idea is shot down, because Denis wants to seem responsible. I guess she forgot Cliff and Claire have known her whole life...

Denise applies for a job over the phone. She also wants a 200 dollar advance from a minimum wage job. Things are finally blowing up in her face.

Two episodes in and we're already seeing a Cosby Show cross over. I guess Bill Cosby had little faith in the show. Rudy messed with Denis over the phone. Cliff walks in and messes with Denise, because he knows she's a flighty moron. He can sense when people want money. When he genuinely shows concern when she pretends every thing is fine. Despite also needing money for Jaleesa. There's no fooling Cliff who tells Rudy he knows Denise needs money. He also calls her “pud”. I wonder if that was a Jello plug.

"I gave you your own show. Now, stop calling here" - Cliff

Denise goes back to her room (for the time being) not caring that Jaleesa will also get kicked out. Maggie doesn't seem to care, either.

Jaleesa comes back from work. She claims a guy flirted with her with tooth picks. What a gem of writing. :/

Maggie tries to break the news to Jaleesa with a bunch of stupid cliches. Denise tells her. Despite the news, Jaleesa doesn't seem that mad. I guess she's happy she might not have her as a roommate any more. She tells Denise to be a baby, because she knows it would take her too long to grow up if she's even capable of growing up.

Denise all of sudden has a sense of pride. In what I don't know. Maggie keeps tries to inject herself into the situation. Jaleesa walks out determined to get the money. Saying she'll even call her ex if she has to. I wish they would have left it open. I liked the idea of Jaleesa being willing to sell her body for dorm fees.

Maggie tells Denise to go to the Dean of Students, because she thinks they have some deep connection.

Denise catches the end of his class to talk to him. The class looks like it has furniture from 1920. We see the dean is a hard ass.

I'll prove I'm a mature woman by walking into the classroom like a five year old. What is it with all these old male students? Look at the guy with the tie.

Dr. Harris reveals he knows Denise and her 1.7 (“I'm working on it”) gpa. He basically reads her. Don't be impressed, most of the things you can tell by just looking at her. He also reveals this isn't her first (or third!) rubber check. As he calls it “bounce city”.

"Da faq you want?"

Cringe worthy moment of the show is when she has a “need” for a student loan. Harris reminds her she had a doctor father and a lawyer mother. She tries to have a heartfelt scene where she says she's tried of her parents coming to her rescue. You know, $200 is too much to ask, but making your parents watch your stepchild while you're with with your husband is the least they can do. About $370 now a days according to the inflation calculator (you're welcome ;) )

Damn it! Harris falls for her pride act and offers her a part time job. However, he does look revolted when she hugs him. I would be, too. She looks like she smells like patchouli.

Jaleesa couldn't call her husband. While having a heart felt talk with Maggie, she calls her old.

Denise comes in and acts like she got a job on her own and shows off her uniform. While she should be grateful, she sounds disgusted. We find out Jaleesa is her boss.

Cue to The Cosby Show (yes, again). Ruby and Cliff are playing chess. Cliff doesn't trust Rudy not to cheat. He doesn't turn his back to answer the phone.

I don't blame him. I wouldn't trust a girl with the mustache Rudy will grown when she turns about 10.

Denise calls to brag. She claims he should be proud, too. Cliff senses she's ok.

"Are you eating your Jello Pudding? Ha ha ha"

Back to the dorm and the ugly lamp. Maggie and Jaleesa are sleeping. Denise has no problem stepping on Maggie's face to get to bed. Denise demands an apology from Jaleesa, despite agreeing with her reasoning for yelling at her. Maggie pretends to be Jaleesa and apologizes. Maggie's tone of voice makes it seem she also thinks Jaleesa is a lesbian. I don't blame her, because she only knows her with that new hair cut. Everyone laughs at how moronic they are. Maggie starts a stupid story that no one wants to hear.