A Different World Rewound
Monday, December 1, 2014
Good Bye
I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. I've been debating on this for almost two weeks now. I've come to the conclusion that I can't run this blog in good faith any more knowing the accusations against Mr. Cosby. You don't need a tv show to raise up. Find a role model in real life. If you can't, find someone who's a mess and learn from their mistakes. If they go left, go right. If they go down, you go up. This is not the last of me. This is the last of this blog. I will be back soon with a new project.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
S1 E5 War of the Words
Jaleesa wakes up to Dwayne's voice. No,
he's not planning on raping her. He's filling in for the campus MC.
On the radio, he tells girls to run around naked. I like how last
episode, he was almost kicked out for antics and he hasn't changed.
He dedicates a song to Denise without naming her.
Jalessa had a dream the Cos was raping her. |
Maggie tells us about her shitty dream
and how stupid she is. It's all a ploy to introduce her long distance
boyfriend Mike.
DARTS OF FIRE IN MY BRAIN! STABBING ME!!!!! |
Denise is happy it's Friday. Friday she
doesn't do any thing. How is that different from any other day?
Dwayne is back at Gilbert. I guess
Stevie is too busy watching TJ to do her job. He's pretending to be
famous and exchanges unpleasantries with Whitley. None of this make
sense considering what took place last episode. Denise seems to think
Dwayne did a good job despite embarrassing her on air.
We go to the debate club. Professor
Lawrence is played by Kean Ivory Wayans. Which is weird, because you
would think the Cos wouldn't want someone from In Living Color on his
show. He shades his students techniques including his real sister who
he brought along. She plays Allison the Snake Charmer.
We also meet Millie who is Whitley's
sidekick. She's bland and forgettable.
Call me big daddy when you back that ass up. |
Whitley's topic is women who are
mothers and work. Denise gets offended. Her mother is a bitch. I mean
laywer. Maggie and Jaleesa more articulately disagree with Whitley's
statement. Maggie is decided to debate against Whitley. She choices
Denise as her reserve. I guess the professor knew Denise would do a
terrible job.
At the Pitt, Allison and the lesbian
extra on a date. Dwayne is harassing them with his radio career. We
meet Marvin who is Damon Waynes. His character is a hypocrite and
unfunny. He tells Dwayne he can be on if he finds an event to cover.
I'm gonna eat you like this sandwich. |
Denise, Jaleesa, and Maggie are working
on the debate. Dwayne doesn't care and bothers them until he realizes
he can use the debate to get back on the radio.
Cue Mike who is as bland and white as
Maggie. Despite this and him being male, Dwayne wants attention from
him. Tries to impress him with his radio gig. Cue the music to
Brokeback Mountain.
I'm going to go on a fishing trip with Dwayne if you don't marry me! |
Later that night, Mike tells Maggie
he's giving up law school to become a pork salesmen. Even she knows
that's stupid. He asks he to move to Washington, D.C. With him. She
acts like there's no school in the nation's capitol as good as
Hillman.
He then reveals he wants to marry while
talking like a robot. Which makes sense. Why would a human want to
marry Maggie?!
Talk dirty to me with your funny robot voice. |
Maggie comes back from a run and
Jaleesa and Denise try to dissuade her from marrying. Even she
realizes Mike is probably the best she can do. Denise realized
Washington is better than Hillman, but Jaleesa knows Maggie's flighty
ass will probably get a divorce even from a robot. Maggie can't
decide and goes on another run. For a runner, she sure has a fat
belly.
Maggie is taking fashion advice from the Great Pumpkin. |
We see Whitley working out in her room
while Dwayne announces the upcoming debate. Jasmine Guy can make some
really expressive faces.
Before heading to the debate, Mike
badgers Maggie about his proposal. I'm starting to think he wants to
sell her into white slavery. Maggie is still unsure either way. He
tells her about this great apartment he found while Whitley
overhears. He says he put a deposit on it and Maggie loses her shit.
Cut to the debate. Whitley seems
dressed a little too causally for a debate. I only like Maggie's and Millie's outfits. Denise is rocking a tie Avril Levigne style. Jaleesa looks okish. It's only hitting me NOW how weird (and unfair?) it is that Whitley's team as two people and Maggie's has three.
She claims women shouldn't work, because they'll accidentally kill people because they can't balance their work and home life. Her lapdog is the only clapping.
She claims women shouldn't work, because they'll accidentally kill people because they can't balance their work and home life. Her lapdog is the only clapping.
That's what happened to Malaysian Airline Flight 370! |
Maggie's speech starts out strong,
until she sees Mike and loses her shit and basically turns down the
chance to be sold into the sex trade. I mean, marriage.
This looks like a different guy. |
Whitley gives a flamboyant rebuttal.
Maggie can't give her rebuttal, because she's emotionally drained.
Denise takes her place and gives a little rebuttal with little
emotion. She looks and sounds high. She skips facts for an anecdotal
story of her own family. What's so special about them? It's not like
they have their own tv show. ;) Maggie and Mike get the hint.
Maggie's team wins. Dwayne goes to hug
Denise, but is dissed.
Why can't he just get a hint? Maggie and Mike probably go to have sex as she's not back when we cut back to the dorm room. She makes it in 4 minutes before curfew. I still think they knocked boots.
They're still together and decide to wait to get married. You kbow until, like Mike actually has a ring. They decided to name their first born Denise and if it's a boy, Jaleesa. I told you that lesbian haircut was a bad idea.
Why can't he just get a hint? Maggie and Mike probably go to have sex as she's not back when we cut back to the dorm room. She makes it in 4 minutes before curfew. I still think they knocked boots.
The beginning of the mating ritual of annoying white people. |
They're still together and decide to wait to get married. You kbow until, like Mike actually has a ring. They decided to name their first born Denise and if it's a boy, Jaleesa. I told you that lesbian haircut was a bad idea.
Monday, November 17, 2014
S1E4 Those Who Can't Tutor
Everyone is boogeying at the Pitt,
including people with trays of food.
Dwayne is even trying to get lesbians.
Cue the lesbian extra, AGAIN.
Maggie is now on the Hillman Chronicle.
She interviews Dwayne who wants to fight the power, until she uses
his name. Whitley agrees with the dorm rules and doesn't have time for
unrulyness.
FIGHT DA POWER! |
Denise and Jaleesa are interviewed and
we find out the girl with a gpa below 2.0 is getting a D. I'm
surprised she's not getting an F. Jaleesa and Maggie try to cheer her
up. Maggie is being shady again and suggesting Denise may never get
it. Spoilers, she actually never does get it. Maggie is then like
“Fuck you, my editor gave me a deadline. I can stop pretending I
care”. Jaleesa gets her french fries.
I actually like Denise's outfit. I wish more of her outfits were like this. With just a hint of uniqueness. |
Whitley offers her help. We get to
check out her outfit.
Ugly purse |
Cut to their dorm. Maggie shows Jaleesa
her article and acts retarded. Denise reveals she's getting a tutor.
Hence, the episode's title. Maggie bugs her about her article.
Jaleesa does a terrible impression of Whitley's accent while quoting
her. Because they're morons, Denise and Jaleesa believe her when she
makes a joke about something Whitley didn't say.
I knew Denise and Maggie were plotting against Jaleesa from day one. |
Dwayne is Denise's tutor. Denise
doesn't believe him, because on top of being a raptist/stalker he
also commits fraud by pretending to be an official tour guide. He
claims it was fun. She asks him a question and he proves he's good at
math. Despite this, Denise still doesn't trust him. I don't blame
her. I wouldn't want to be in close quarters alone with him either.
The formula is not subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and multiple. |
However, she believe his card. One he could have made himself.
I made that shit at Kinkos. |
Time has shown to have passed and she's just
as stupid as before. I'm guessing by her fashion choices and refusal
to confirm, she has some type of Autism. She does remember some of
his ghetto formulas, though. So much time has passed, they've missed
curfew and he's locked in the dorm. Denise being Denise, she's only
worried about her parents being called. Not how it will affect Dwayne
who was helping her.
He plans to use a fire escape, but it's
outside of Whitley's room. Despite being hesitant, Denise thinks he
could do it because Whitley listens to crickets and wears a sleep
mask. Dwayne admits he rapes girls and then sneaks out of their
rooms. Knowing his stalker/rapist ways, Denise has no problems with
him going into Whitley’s room.
They walks down the hall like two
retards, because the writers/directors/SOMEONE thought it was funny
at the time.
Whitley is asleep and listening to a
tape of waves. Dwayne busts in and is oddly scared by seagull sounds.
While nuisances and food thieves, seagulls aren't really a threat.
Seagulls: Preventing rape since 1988 |
Whitley talks in her sleep about
sunblock. She also dreams about capsizing. Dwayne makes it out to be
discovered by Stevie.
I hope she hasn't seen Back To The Future |
I guess Dwayne saw BTTF, he uses the
excuse of George McFly: he's not a pervert. He's a bird watcher. I'm
guessing Stevie saw BTTF and sees he's just a stalker/raper. I find
it weird Denise didn't tell her she was expecting a tutor.
Walter comes in. Things are going to
improve. Sinbad was really good as Walter. I wish she would have
called the police instead.
Dwayne won't dime out Denise, but he
allows Stevie and Walter to think he was in Whitley's room. He tries
the BTTF line on Walter. Stevie informs him there will be a hearing.
Stevie comes into Whitley's room while
Strangers in the Night is playing on her radio. Whitley is confused
when Stevie talks about Dwayne being in her room. She insults her by
calling her a divorcee. Whitley also says she's a virgin and loses
her shit over being accused of bumping uglies with Dwayne.
Stevie is
pissed and tells her she'll see her in her apartment for a hearing.
Cut to the lesbian extra who was ease dropping.
I bet she was leaving a booty call. |
Cut to the Pitt. Everyone is gossiping
about Whitley, because of Loose Lips.
Jaleesa looks a little too excited at that finger. |
Denise walks in and thinks everyone is
talking about her B+, but Jalesesa brings her into reality. They're
all talking about the drama she caused. Jaleesa reveals she's going
to be extra tough on Whitley and Maggie shades her.
All the men clap at Dwayne when he
enters the Pitt. They also bark at him. He thinks he's cool because he's
ruined a virgin's reputation.
He also kicks puppies. Hence, the barking. |
Whitley looks ravishing in red. I would
say it was picked to show her as a scarlet woman, but she wears red
often.
Whitley is fierce even doing a walk of shame. |
The men say rude things to her. Denise comes over to Whitley
who is really upset. Whitley says Dwayne should clear her name
(because it's the truth) and Dwayne acts like he's suffering. Dwayne
says he was in her room, and Whitley slaps him. How Zsa Zsa Gabor,
but he did deserve it. If it were me, he'd be castrated.
After the slap two guys high five. I'm
not sure if they're high fiving because they're white, gay, or know
Dwayne.
Denise feels bad for Dwayne who
charmingly reveals this isn't the first time he's been slapped.
Cut to the Gilbert Hall. Denise and
Maggie are folding laundry. Something I find more shocking than coed
sex. Maggie is acting like Long Island trash. I hope her annoying
accent way of acting ghetto goes away.
Just the act of folding clean laundry makes Denise sick. |
Whitley is late and Dwayne looses his
shit. On a side note, what is with all the blue in this episode?
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! |
Whitley comes in a pure white outfit and says she's been donating to good will. Jaleesa throws shade at Whitley. Whitley claims she can sleep through anything (which is actually true). Dwayne is laughing at this. The implied joke he raped her while she slept.
For a virginal dress, the top is pretty sheer. |
Dwayne explains he was just passing
through, but still won't dime out Denise. Walter says Dwayne has poor
character, but he doubts they had sex. Dwayne objects for some
reason. Stevie gets pissed. Denise comes in and Dwayne tries to send
her away. I get he could give two shits about Whitley, but he's
protecting Denise when he could kicked out of school for this.
Spoilers, I can't believe Whitley would marry him after this.
Ugly outfit, but at least it breaks up all the blue. |
Despite confessing, Whitley shades
Denise. I don't blame her. She should have came forward earlier.
Despite Stevie not knowing about the tutoring, Walter claims he knew.
Stevie genuinely apologizes. Whitley accepts, but she wants an
apology in the school newspaper. Whitley is a true lady as she leaves
asap. If it were me, I'd sit around for the drama.
I want to classify this as a very special episode, but it's sort of not. It deals with those sort things special episodes usually do. Instead of doing the right thing, they slut shame a virgin. It's basically said that any sex was not consensual. Whitley could have been raped and no one cares and no real authorities are involved. The episode is mildly disturbing.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
S1E3 Porky de Bergerac
I actually vaguely remembered this
episode. For some reason, I thought it came later in the season.
Stevie comes out of her office (room?),
to see the common room is a littered with actual garbage.
I find it
weird we see an extra with the lesbian hair cut Stevie (still has)
and Jalessa had last episode, because Jalessa's hair magically grew.
No, she got a weave. I have no idea how she afforded it on her
cafeteria salary.
Jaleesa helps Stevie clean the mess,
which she attributes to Denise. Denise comes down and is late for
class. So, she can't help. I was right. Jaleesa comments that Denise
stinks to which she comments she's also a perfume thief.
Denise is in love with a guy she barely
knows. Despite Jaleesa demanding Denise buy her more perfume, Whitley
comes down and comments the perfume does stink. She's wearing red and
black. Rocking a mini Chanel purse. She does her best to “help”
clean up.
My maid usually does this for me. |
She asks Stevie to be dorm monitor
while calling her child unruly. She outright calls him unruly. I love
that bitch. Stevie wants an election. She does seem pissed Whitley
called T.J unruly.
I'll show you unruly. |
Cut to the Pitt. Maggie, Jaleesa, and
Denise discuss the boy she likes. Denise is pissed he cut class.
Which is weird, because she explains to Jaleesa and Maggie she had no
intentions of actually asking him out or making any moves. I guess
she just wants to stalk him like Dwayne stalks her. Maggie encourages
her to make the first movie. Jaleesa says she asked a boy out on the
phone. She reveals it was her ex. Maggie mentions they are divorced
but then back tracks. I want to mention, not only did it end a
divorce but a lesbian hair cut as per episode two. Funny enough,
Denise even mentions Dwayne when explaining why she doesn't want to
make the first move. Jaleesa tries to give her confidence, but Maggie
keeps accidentally putting salt in her game. I'm starting to think
Maggie is a bit shady. I can't remember my first impression of Maggie
when I first saw season one, because she is mostly annoying and
forgettable.
Another thing I've been noticing. I just have to
mention. When Denise is in a scene with someone else, they always cut
to her and then the other person/people. Look at this shot followed
by this shot. This only happens with Denise. When other characters
are together, they don't get these sort spotlight for lack of a
better term.
Whitley is hanging up her dorm monitor
campaign poster. The dorm's name is Gilbert. At first the sign looked
like something a schizophrenic makes to remember who they are.
Who am I? Where am I? |
Despite his “unruly”ness , Whitley
enlisted T.J to help her. He apparently is dyslexic. Don't worry, his
appearance is short.
Denise is pissed at the idea of Whitley
Gilbert monitoring the dorms, because she can't follow rules. She
tries to get Maggie to run, but despite being there a week, she's
already involved in “five clubs and president of the classical
tragedy society”.
Jalessa enters with one of the pralines
Whitley is giving out. I'd vote for her. Bitch is giving pralines and
chocolates. Before Jaleesa can be roped in, she senses something is a
foot and tells them to fuck off.
They plead their case. Jaleesa explains
she doesn't want the job, because it's shitty and it's snitching.
Snitches get stitches.
Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches! |
They try reverse psychiatry, but since
they're morons Jaleesa doesn't fall for it. However, Whitley coming
in with victory pralines and hubris makes Jaleesa decide to run.
Whitley's outfit looks fab without the red sweater. I actually like
Denise's outfit. I hate how it bares midriff when she stretches and
don't like the leggings.
Whitley gives a boring speech and
quotes a Diana Ross song. TJ is unruly and rides a toy.
Move out da way! |
Denise nominates Jaleesa as candidate.
In her own words, she's a good choice because she's the exact
opposite of her.
Instead of a speech, Jaleesa does a
question and answer session. We see the lesbian extra again. Whitley
is pissed it's going well. Denise, for not running herself, is being
a huge bitch to Whitley.
She's showing off her best move. |
Just when I thought Dwayne wasn't in
this episode, he walks in uninvited. Stevie promptly kicks him out.
It feels like a PSA to show he's still on the show and still a
rapist/stalker.
Remember me? |
She does a Johnny Cochran style rhyming
session. It boils down to anyone being a pig will have to wear a pig
nose for a day.
Whitley gets a few votes, but Jaleesa
wins by a landslide. Denise obnoxiously raises two hands. Whitley
loses her shit. Everyone is delirious in chanting of “PIGNOSE!!!!!!”.
This starting to look like Sesame Street on crack.
Denise asks Michael out while eating
pizza. Not because she's a thoughtless bitch, she is, but it's a plot
device He accepts. I don't know why anyone would want to go on a date
with her. I also find it weird she invites him to a wine and cheese
tasting hosted by a professor. It seems weird a professor would
invited student without checking if they're 21. Being a sophomore,
she should be about 19.
Whitley enters the common room the
next day to find the pizza box and ants.
Whitley, like the true HBIC she is,
enters the room. Wakes up Maggie and Jaleesa and demands Denise be
made to wear the pig nose.
Maggie tries to guilt trip Jaleese, but
before we can see how she feels about it the pig walks in. Denise
doesn't deny doing it. She also outright tells Jaleesa she wants
special treatment. Denise is being Denise. Forgetting she was the one
who made Jaleesa run.
Bitch, please. |
Jaleesa's not taking her shit. Maggie
keeps talking about tragedies. I can't believe she lasted a whole
season. Denise remembers she had a date, but Jaleesa doesn't care.
She realizes Denise has been doing this inconsiderate stuff her whole
life. Denise puts on the pig nose.
When leaving, she sees Whitley. OMG!
Whitley is rewearing an outfit from episode two. Scandalous.
Dem legs! |
Denise tries to hide her pignose while
in the library. Dwayne comes in and even he is repulsed. Despite
this, he does defend her when some extras laugh at her. He even
volunteers to help her cancel her date with Michael. She's fine with
him doing her bidding, but when he wants her to hang out she turns
him down. Being a stalker, he's not deterred.
Michael shows up for their date. Denise
pretends she's someone else. I find it weird she wants to go out on a
date with a guy who doesn't even know what she looks like. Maggie
comes in wearing a pig nose and almost blows her cover. Again, she's
pretending it's on accident. I think Maggie is just shady.
Dwayne comes in and tries to make
Michael think Denise doesn't like him.
Denise explains the situation to
Michael. He's really understanding. He even borrows Maggie's pignose.
I think he wants to get laid. Five minutes ago, he had no idea who
Denise was. Denise goes off with him. I hope she did put out.
Dwayne is upset he was turned down.
Denise comes back with Michael/Maggie's
pignose. Jaleesa teases her. We find out she didn't put out Michael.
What a bitch. If my clothes were as disheveled as her's, I'd be
putting out all the time. Never mind for a guy who was genuinely
nice. Denise actually quotes her idol, porky pig.
That's not all, folks. I find it really
weird everyone finds the pig nose so repulsive. It sort of reminds me
of that movie, Penelope. I thought both Denise and Penelope looked
cute in their pig noses. It's college. A time to experiment and be
wild. I just find the students at Hillman are really mild and easily
shocked and appalled.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)